This is a good revision from the prior app, and the core character concept is interesting. Right now, there are two major sets of problems that keep this character from being accepted, which can be grouped into setting/mechanics and character.
First, the character doesn't feel well integrated with the MMO setting when it comes to mechanics (the chief question being, what are the abilities the character has in-game, exactly, and how do those reflect the listed powers? It's hard to guess at the archetype, though Warshade seems to be most likely.) and we're left wondering if the character was originally from the MMO, or designed as a completely original character. In addition, there's also questions on how a lion could wander loose in Paragon City without getting noticed, when there are scores of licensed hero PCs and civilian NPCs running around as well. Plus, there's the fact that pure animal PCs (as opposed to the Animal Pack anthro characters, which was released later in the game's lifecycle) aren't really playable in the game, though that detail is negligible; it mainly becomes more glaring when coupled with those other issues.
Second, the age doesn't quite match up with the character voice; overall the character reads as someone older, throughout the back story. Combined with that, there's some implausibility that he would work the way he does at such a young age. Third, it is hard to discern the character's role in a superhero setting. Is he a hero? An apprentice hero? Bystander who likes more naps during the day because male lion? There's a few hints as to who he is in the City of Heroes setting, but the details get lost in the execution.
Again, while the core concept is good, the delivery is weighing it down, and would require several key revisions before being accepted. You may apply again next application cycle, or apply for another character if you so choose. You may apply for the same character up to three times in total.
Rejected
First, the character doesn't feel well integrated with the MMO setting when it comes to mechanics (the chief question being, what are the abilities the character has in-game, exactly, and how do those reflect the listed powers? It's hard to guess at the archetype, though Warshade seems to be most likely.) and we're left wondering if the character was originally from the MMO, or designed as a completely original character. In addition, there's also questions on how a lion could wander loose in Paragon City without getting noticed, when there are scores of licensed hero PCs and civilian NPCs running around as well. Plus, there's the fact that pure animal PCs (as opposed to the Animal Pack anthro characters, which was released later in the game's lifecycle) aren't really playable in the game, though that detail is negligible; it mainly becomes more glaring when coupled with those other issues.
Second, the age doesn't quite match up with the character voice; overall the character reads as someone older, throughout the back story. Combined with that, there's some implausibility that he would work the way he does at such a young age. Third, it is hard to discern the character's role in a superhero setting. Is he a hero? An apprentice hero? Bystander who likes more naps during the day because male lion? There's a few hints as to who he is in the City of Heroes setting, but the details get lost in the execution.
Again, while the core concept is good, the delivery is weighing it down, and would require several key revisions before being accepted. You may apply again next application cycle, or apply for another character if you so choose. You may apply for the same character up to three times in total.